1. "One Copy is Needed"
   
   A young executive was leaving the office late one evening when he found the CEO standing in front of a shredder with a piece of paper in his hand. "Listen," said the CEO, "this is a very sensitive and important document here, and my secretary has gone for the night. Can you make this thing work?" "Certainly," said the young executive. He turned the machine on, inserted the paper, and pressed the start button. "Excellent, excellent!" said the CEO as his paper disappeared inside the machine. "I just need one copy."

2. "Your Boss and You"
   
   When you take a long time, you're slow. When your boss takes a long time, he's thorough.
   When you don't do it, you're lazy. When your boss doesn't do it, he's too busy.
   When you make a mistake, you're an idiot. When your boss makes a mistake, he's only human.
   When doing something without being told, you're overstepping your authority. When your boss does the same thing, that's initiative.
   When you take a stand, you're being pig-headed. When your boss does it, he's being firm.
   When you overlooked a rule of ettiquette, you're being rude. When your boss skips a few rules, he's being original.
   When you please your boss, you're arse-creeping. When your boss pleases his boss, he's being co-operative.
   When you're out of the office, you're wandering around. When your boss is out of the office, he's on business.
   When you're on a day off sick, you're always sick. When your boss has a day off sick, he must be very ill.
   When you apply for leave, you must be going for an interview. When your boss applies for leave, it's because he's overworked.

The woods are lovely dark and deep,
But I have my promises to keep.
And miles to go before I sleep,
And miles to go before I sleep.

Robert Frost "Stopping by Woods in a Snowy Evening"